Drowning in Fear

If all of life as we live it could be summed up in all of its energy, the main component would be fear, at its very core the fear of death. If we look at the root of all fear it is simply fear of non-existance, fear of losing everything that we equate with our lives, or livelyhood. This is why dis-ease causes so much anxiety, as we see it to be the end of ‘who we are’. But lets play a little memory game, in one moment I will ask you to close your eyes, and go back to before you were born, go into the feeling, the sounds, the tastes, colours, everything.

Do this now.

Take a moment, and take it all in.

What comes through?

Do you remember?

It may not come back in the same type of memory as you remembering your 8th birthday, or last week’s lunch with a friend.

But it is there, on the tip of your tongue. You can feel it. In your body, in your being. Even when there is blackness there is you, without form.

So how is it, that the fear of death, of nothingness can seem so real, so frightening that it can keep you up at night, keep you doing things again and again, motivating you to do more, faster. As if you were running from your own fate, and it were hunting you down.

We are constantly running away from death, but it is inevitable that one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe this next minute, or maybe 10, 20, 50 years from now, the body that sees these words will no longer be here, this is also true for anyone you know in your life now.

Why do we run from what we cannot escape from, and yet if you remember back to before you were the body, there is still something there..

there is something more than the body that is reading these words.

So why all the fuss?

Why the fear of the body breaking down, or becoming weak. Why the fear of cancer, or dis-ease.

It is there to remind you that each moment, every moment, especially THIS moment is precious. Enjoy every last sensation, the breath that is in your body, the blood that warms you, the smells around you. The look on your child’s face, or in the eyes of your pet, or the stranger passing you on the street.

Each moment is there, because you are, it is all for you. It would not be, if you weren’t.

Isn’t that incredible. Would what is happening around you, the child riding his bike, the lady crossing the street, the leaves blowing in the trees, would it be happening in exactly that way, if you were not there to see it.

Take this moment now, to be grateful for all that is around you. Do not judge it so quickly as the story is still unfolding. We never know along the storyline how perfect something was for us until the end. It is unfolding as a gift to you, to show you the path deeper into yourself. Do not be so quick to anger, or get frustrated, simply watch and see what happens. Does what you see change, when you suspend your judgement of it?

How does it feel to watch as if you were watching the movie of your life? And each character is another part of you.

Does it move you, does it open your heart, break it, does it cause you to hold your breath, or smile?

Take it all in.

Even the pain in your body, the headache..it is keeping you aware, intune, alive.

Watch it with awe and wonder, how did it come to be?

The fear is there to show you the doorway. Without the fear, we would never look.

It too is a gift to remind us of our path, how can you ever find what makes your heart beat, unless something is there to remind you it is beating?

It is not you drowning, when it is you that is also the water.